The tensest conversation you’ll ever have is having a conversation with your kids about the possibility of divorce–even if it’s not necessarily the most appropriate choice for your household. It’s a huge discussion, so it’s essential to be prepared. Order to protect your children from any discomfort isn’t possible. However, there are ways to let them know that can help your children feel less overwhelmed and stressed during the transitional time.
Here are seven words to ease your children’s tension when speaking about divorce.
1. We cherish you deeply
This conversation will affect your children for a long time to come, which is why it is recommended that you start your conversation with a warm message. Children are often in need of repetition, and therefore, you must include reassuring words whenever you can.
2. Your dad/mom/parent/etc. and I’ve been struggling recently
Tell your children the truth about the current situation. However, you should avoid discussing specifics. Don’t make negative remarks regarding your ex-partner or discuss their flaws and faults. Establishing a healthy connection with the other is vital to their good emotional development. That’s why, no matter how sad or angry you feel, stay clear of any accusation or finger-pointing.
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3. None blame is on you
Your children should know that they were not the cause of your divorce. Remind them that the divorce results from adult issues with your ex-spouse. Also, no action or words they made could have caused the divorce.
4. Do You have concerns?
You and your spouse should be willing to answer your children’s concerns. Divorce isn’t a simple concept to grasp. Therefore it is essential to be open with your children. Let them speak out about any concerns they have. If they ask questions that you don’t know an answer to or are acting in a way that is based on emotion, confirm your feelings. Remember that it’s inevitable to experience pain, and it’s normal.
5. We are always your family
Based on the age of your children and their ages, they may not be able to comprehend what separation means. Inquiring about how you will be their primary caregiver will help ease their anxieties and anxiety. But you and your spouse must back up your positive comments with appropriate actions – this will make kids feel secure.
6. Some things will change. However, a lot will stay the same
Children are better off being conscious of changes that will take place. This lets them physically and mentally prepare for any significant changes to the course of their daily routine. Discuss your new living arrangements with them, including the frequency they’ll get to see your ex-spouse. However, let them be aware that their lives will not be drastically different from this. If they’re able, let them know that they’ll attend the same school and have the same group of friends, and will be able to visit your former spouse and you.
7. Even though it might not seem like it, you’ll be fine. We love you so much
Talking with your children must always be concluded with a clear affirmation. It’s a difficult moment in your life. And while it’s normal to get involved in the emotions you experience from time to time, don’t allow them to overshadow your children’s feelings. The best way to deal with this is to plan some time for yourself to cry, vent, and express your emotions constructively. The more you look after yourself, the more accessible you’ll be to help your children.
Divorce is positive for all family members. While there is bound to be a lengthy transition phase, Be patient. Be present and let your children feel upset or sad, but keep focused on the future. If you position them for success, you enable them to see the divorce process’s positive side as they age.
